Cross your heart hope to die? BECAUSE I SWEAR I’LL STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING EYE.
We have the same phone but your battery has drained more today? Who have you been texting all day?
I traded in your iPhone 4S for an iPhone 4. I DON’T WANT YOU TALKING TO SIRI.
We’ve been dating for a month. I CAN’T WAIT FOREVER!
Hey babe, I accidentally erased all your female contacts. EXCEPT MINE.
I wish I could kill my parents so I could live with you.
Reads freud. MURDERS YOUR MOTHER.
I booked a church for the 25th of June. You know, just in case you have something to ask me.
If you are on Twitter and don’t follow me @AttachedGF, I will find you. =)
Did I ever mention I liked Justin Bieber?
Hey, I just met you. If you don’t date me, you’ll go to prison, I’ll say you raped me.
I had a dream that we broke up and I killed your family. LOL
Accidentally hits you in the balls. “OH NO! MY FUTURE CHILDREN!”
You cheated on me? I’ll forgive you if you help me bury the body.